Standing Still

I haven’t written in this for a little bit because I haven’t had much to say… The truth is we’re at a stand still financially.  That’s a positive outlook, too.  Believe me.  I mentioned before that my husband was laid off work.. this happened about three weeks ago.  With no money coming in.. and right before the holidays, I’ll be honest, I’ve been getting a little scared.  At this point we are almost completely out of money, and have no idea how or when anymore will be coming in.  We have both been unsuccessfully looking for work.  I could say that we are are in a deep financial pit… or that we are going backwards… But, I won’t.  I’m going to say that we are just standing still.

I can honestly say that I didn’t see this coming.  I should have, but I didn’t.  I wish we had been more prepared.  I wish that we had more money in savings for just a time as this.  But, wishes don’t do much. 

I have been sewing a lot.  One of the projects I had mentioned before (but never gave any details) was to create myself an Etsy account and sell my artwork and children’s outfits on there. I have been designing a clothing line for children lately, and I thought that Etsy would be the best place to start for selling. Ebay doesn’t make sense anymore because of their new feedback policy and higher fees. At any rate, I’ve been working feverishly to get some items up for sale on there. I’d like for the money to go into my penny millions account, but at the moment it would be the only income we have.

Though things are rough for the time, I haven’t touched my penny millions money. I haven’t put any effort into building at the moment considering our circumstances, but I haven’t spent any of it either. I hope that I can keep from it. It’s my seed at the moment. Just like you’d plant a seed, care for it, and hope that it grows into something big and beautiful; well, my penny millions fund is helping to maintain my hope.

Despite how things might appear, however, I am certain that my family and I are in God’s hands. He has never let me down. I have never gone without.

Be still, and know that I am God;I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth! Psalm 46:10

Well, as I’ve stated, we are still. I am expecting God to show His might and come through for us. These are hard times for everyone right now. I know that we aren’t the only family experiencing hardship. Despite our finances I know that I am rich simply by the friends and family I have in my life, and the God that stands watch over all of us.

The following verses are for inspiration. Keep the faith. I intend to. God will honor that.

Then He touched their eyes, saying, “According to your faith let it be to you.” Matthew 9:29

And immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and caught him, and said to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” Matthew 14:31

But Jesus, being aware of it, said to them, “O you of little faith, why do you reason among yourselves because you have brought no bread? Matthew 16:8

for assuredly, I say to you, if you have faith as a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you. Matthew 17:20

And He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well. Go in peace, and be healed of your affliction.” Mark 5:34

If then God so clothes the grass, which today is in the field and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will He clothe you, O you of little faith? Luke 12:28

But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail; and when you have returned to Me, strengthen your brethren.” Luke 22:32

For in it the righteousness of God is revealed from faith to faith; as it is written, “The just shall live by faith.” Romans 1:17

that your faith should not be in the wisdom of men but in the power of God. 1 Corinthians 2:5

Watch, stand fast in the faith, be brave, be strong. 1 Corinthians 16:13

For we walk by faith, not by sight. 2 Corinthians 5:7

I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me. Galations 2:20

above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. Ephesians 6:16

Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful. Hebrews 10:23

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1

Waking Up On Voting Day

Today was voting day.  I wish that I could say that I’m excited about finding out the end results.  I’m not.  In my frame of mind all that I see is people wanting more power and more money.  The county that I live in is dry… there was an amendment on the ballot to make the county wet.  The truth is I want to keep the county dry, and I have no problems admitting that I voted that way.  I know that people are going to drink.  Even I, from time to time, have had a glass of wine.  I don’t think alcohol is the enemy.  The reason I voted to retain the county as dry is, basically, the advertising that was put out by people favoring to start selling spirits here.  One of the most prominent of those ads was a giant billboard with a picture of school aged children and the words read “vote YES for our children… vote YES for alcohol (in our county).”  You’ve got to be kidding me.  Money made from alcohol sales here would NOT be going to our children… The majority of it will be going into somebody’s pocket.  Using a ploy like that just makes me angry.  I mean, come on, if you want to have alcohol here, that’s fine, but be honest with your reasons. 

At any rate, it just got me thinking about so many people’s attitudes about money.  It seems like so many people have black holes in their pockets.  I want more, more, more!!  And, though I’ve seen promise after promise I have seen a great deal of good come from commitees or projects to earn more money for “our poor…. our schools… our community.”  Most everything stays the same, but somewhere out there somebody is buying a bigger house.. or a newer boat… and scheming up some new project that brings in more money.  It’s a vicious, nasty circle…

I don’t want to be like that.  I don’t want money or materialism to be what I’m living for.  I want to be content with the things I have (Hebrews 13:5).  I remember, in fact, that one of the happiest memories of my life was at a time when my mother and I had very, very little money.  We moved to Birmingham for the first time and it was the biggest adventure ever!!  An apartment complex was going to be torn down and replaced with an interstate off ramp.  The Highway Department needed a few tenants to live in the apartments before they were torn down to keep vagrants out.  So, in we moved.  We didn’t have much there…. no beds, just foam mattresses on the floor.. a black and white television that worked… sometimes…. But, what we did have was an adventure that I will never forget.  Not having those material things meant nothing to me.  I didn’t miss them for the duration of the summer… not much anyway.  My cat had her first batch of kittens there.  We visited lots of new stores and went window shopping.  Every night we went somewhere new and had a new adventure.  I will never forget how wonderful the whole experience was.  And, now, as an adult, I look back and can see very plainly for myself that material things… money… does not bring in happiness.  It is attitude. 

I think that attitude is what it is all about.  Success isn’t measured by how big your house is, how much mula you have in the bank, what kind of car you drive or clothes you wear.  Success is measured by the joy in your heart, your sense of adventure, your positive outlook.  True success is looking back on your life and being able to say, “I didn’t waste any time blaming everybody else or feeling sorry for myself, but instead making life as wonderful as I could… for myself and for others.”  That’s success, and that’s what I’m after.

I’ve come to realize, though, that being in debt doesn’t bring in that level of joy.  The hard truth is that the reason we are in debt (my family and I) is because we bought stuff we didn’t need.  We did.  Our credit cards, 99.9% of the payments we are making TODAY are for junk we bought that we don’t even use anymore.  Or for a dinner we could have gone without.  I can’t help but ask myself why.  Why, why, why, why?!?!?!?  I’m left knowing that I can’t point my finger at any one of those people I referred to before as having black holes for pockets, because I have had the very same problem.  Instant gratification, materialism, people-pleasing, acceptance based on faulty information… all these reasons and more are what got us into this mess. 

Realizing all of this was a major wake up call for me.  I didn’t want to accept it… I would still like to rationalize it away… say things like, “Oh, well, everybody needs a break from time to time and get something new.”  But, I know that if I do that it will be counter productive to what I’m attempting to do to get my life and finances straightened out. 

I am the only one to blame for the mess I’m in, and if I want out of it I am definately going to have to live differently.